Beat Reporter | Boston Blitz

Take My Pawn, Please!

September 7th, 2010

Mark La Rocca

Ok, so I missed the first week due to unexpected circumstances. I guess after all these years of no drinking, no smoking, and no fooling around with wild women, God decided to reward me by making me absent for what was the lowest point of Boston Blitz history… an O-pher on opening day. Of course, I did follow things from afar… and it did ruin a few of my days… but, this is neither here nor there. Who cares about my suffering? Let’s talk getting back on track as our Blitz heroes smashed their favorite opponent the Philadelphia Inventors, (2.5 – 1.5).

Usually I would back up that brash statement (smashed) with brilliant analysis and insightful commentary to convince our blog readers that the Blitz are back… but, in this case, it is a joke… and a bad joke at that…

This termite walks into a bar and asks…Where’s the bar tender?…ba da boom.

Alright!… we were lucky as heck; but, there were some bright spots.

Disclaimer: Due to the holiday weekend, I am unable to offer my usual full 4-game coverage. Also, since I was relayer on the critical game, board 2, IM Smith (PHI) – GM Perelshteyn (BOS), which went down to the wire and lasted late into the evening, I was unable to get a bird’s eye view of this match. In short, I am offering only one game’s worth of limited analysis… Denys, I’m sorry, but I chose your game. Why? I don’t know… third base.

Now, on to the action…
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Anybody know a good Druggist?

November 17th, 2009

Mark La Rocca

What can I say? The Blitz lost to the New York Knights in the quarterfinals… a bitter pill to swallow. However, I have always believed that what it takes to be a good chess player is the ability to take one on the chin and get back up… to quickly forget… and concentrate on the next game. Some rationalization, Huh? Well, to some extent it is true, and especially so for the Blitz fans… just forget… take a Valium… or any of the benzodiazepines will do… there’s always next year.

I was worried going into this match as our top boards had not rounded into form at all this season. Let’s go to the stats… after 10 season matches and 1 quarterfinal…

(wins – draws – Losses) = total pts/11 games

First Board…….. (5 – 0 – 6) …. 5.0 pts.

Second Board…. (3 – 3 – 5) …. 4.5 pts.

Third Board……. (5 – 3 – 3) …. 6.5 pts.

Fourth Board….. (7 – 2 – 2) …. 8.0 pts.

Boston’s negative score on it’s top boards was it’s Achilles heal this season. But, enough recrimination… I’m not bitter… and I’m not one to point fingers… Or, am I? Let’s take one last painful look at the season’s end.

On a night when the bottom boards astonished… the top boards disappointed… and the Blitz will watch the rest of the playoffs through the bottom of an empty beer bottle… or at least Ilya will… but, he watches every match that way.

The evening started well on 3rd board with Vadim on his game in what seemed a hard fought draw… which he won!
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It’s Simply Chess

November 8th, 2009

Mark La Rocca

This was a night that didn’t count… didn’t count unless you considered pride and rivalry, and, yes, a slight bit of hatred… for the NY symbol of course… not personal at all. The team could never relax and just play chess… not against NY. So, again the tension was palpable… the audience, the standard crew, true and loyal Bostonites… here to watch the demise of the enemy from that city where they talk even funnier that we do. No, there was no let up in this match… on either side. In the analysis room, Ilya was pounding his fist on the table with every bad move his teammates made… and, for that matter, every good one. It’s a strange thing this rivalry… Boston and New York… kind of like Superman and Lex Luther… surely, the bad guys can’t win… not ever.

Our first game to finish, seemed to promote this thought… as Super Vadim walked through his opponents hail of bullets… without even working up a sweat.
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Steady as she goes!

November 2nd, 2009

Mark La Rocca

In the midst of a storm the captain must steer a course around many obstacles, not the least of which is that rogue wave that can sweep the ship under… again. Jorge put up Boston’s steadiest lineup to face Maimi this week in hopes of quelling this trend of rogue waves. (Boston has seen two 0-4 sweeps this year) His judgment again proved superb as the team was never in danger of losing… the only question… Could they pull out the win?

The first mate and first board, seaman Eugene Perelshteyn proved up to the task as he avoided trouble waters and sunk the opponents boat even without the two bishops.
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Lethal Pastry IV

October 25th, 2009

Mark La Rocca

Walk with me if you will, down the back streets of Cambridge on this night of a dark moon rising… a Devil’s moon… toward a match celebre’, The Boston Blitz vs. The New Jersey Knockouts. Peripherally, I spy the iconic orange logo of Boston’s own Dunkin’ Donuts… you are tempted, aren’t you?… but, we didn’t stop to pick up the dozen sugar-fix morsels to stimulate team neurons. No, it wasn’t a donut atmosphere… Such a mistake… As we arrive at the Harvard Science center, I search the educated air for the smell of pizza… sausage, peppers, onions… so greasy the lift from the plate to the mouth must be made in less than 0.25 seconds, or one risks permanent shirt spackling. You don’t smell anything?… Hmmm, not a pizza night either.

The alarms in my head were faintly tinkling… something amiss; do you feel it?… and, sure enough, as the match begins, a dark-haired miscreant (some suspect alumni Paul MacIntyre) drops some boxes on the table… Sacre bleur, pastries, the most deadly form of brain fuel… You know the kind… they come with squiggly frosting decorations, some even look like birds or squirrels… they have French names you can’t pronounce and you wonder as you pick them up between your thumb and index finger whether it is proper to extend your pinky… They’re pretty and small enough to inhale, but you don’t. You take a small bite and shout magnifque! They’re not made by bakers… no, their authors are chefs… Oh, I don’t blame Paul (if, indeed, it was him)… How could he know the psychological terror he was unleashing in these insidious confections… nor, could he suspect the ghastly fate that awaited our innocent heroes as each, in turn, consumed the perilous electuaries contained therein.

Continue with me now to that middle ground between light and shadow… Let us view a creation of the mind… a strangely Marzipan game molded and shaped and marked with a B and left in the oven just a little too long… by team manager, and glucose intolerant, Jorge Sammour-Hasbun…
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He Played What?

October 17th, 2009

Mark La Rocca

Ok… This has to be a quick and dirty recap of the Boston’s win over the Queen’s Pioneers (2.5 – 1.5) since this is a short week with our next match on Monday. So, first congratulations to all the players for making the playoffs once again and for entertaining us with some incredible chess.

It seemed that every single game was… well… weird. Usually, I don’t understand one or two of the games… and I just chalk it up to my own inadequacies… who am I to question GMs and SMs. But, this night was different… I didn’t understand any of the games.

On Board 3, Marc, as White, was off to his usual fast start and won a piece in like… 10 moves?… against a strong IM?… in which his opponent played the very safe and solid Caro-Kahn?

Second board had Eugene, after a very nice opening as Black, pitch the exchange for no reason and no compensation, against a strong IM… and draw?

Andrew, playing Black on board 4, seemed to be struggling in the opening… but everybody told me I was crazy and he was winning?… and he did?… with a nice positional exchange sac which, of course, I never saw coming?

Finally, Larry, as White, played… well, his usual, incomprehensible (at least to me) opening… got into trouble… dropped a pawn… then, just when it seemed he swindled a draw… again, everyone disagreed with me and said he was lost… and after the team had clinched the match… he just wandered aimlessly into a loss? Why? I don’t know. Third base.

But, I don’t think I know much, these days, not much at all. You see, as you get older, the usable portion of your brain shrinks… and it’s nights like this that make me think that my brain has been washed in too hot water and dried in too high heat… I just don’t understand… not at all.

But, I do appreciate… and especially so, the pieces-flying style, of one SM Esserman, who never fails to entertain…
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The “We” Team

October 13th, 2009

Mark La Rocca

What is a team? For me, and other fans it’s something to hold on to, something to make a part of yourself… so that when it has success, you feel successful; of course, when it fails, you also fail. Strangely, we also serve who only stand and watch… as I know that the support our team gets helps them as much as they help us.
But, what do the team players get out of it? What does it mean to them?

“What I spent, I had; What I kept, I lost; What I gave, I have.” Henry Ward Beecher.

Team members give everything they have to a common cause… holding back nothing and, win or lose, gaining everything. I am not eloquent enough to describe the feeling of this night as each team member refused to fail and carried the team to a perfect victory over the Carolina Cobras. To the Cobras I can only say we know how it feels.

My apologies… the waxing philosophic has ended…and the match begins with another swashbuckling tale from, who else, SM Marc Esserman…
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The Commish Rules!

October 2nd, 2009

Mark La Rocca

You talk about stressful, strange nights… I got to the match quite a bit early, thought I’d help Matt set up, and What do I see? Everything already set up and ready to go. Wow, I thought, Matt is on his game today. Then, I find out that USCL commissioner, and world traveler, IM Greg Shahade is going to pay us a visit. My first thoughts, darn, no Fritz display on the back wall of the playing room… for our audience only… players aren’t allowed to look up. My next thought, what did we do wrong? Did someone complain? Is Jorge going to be fined?

As it turned out, all the anxiety was for naught, as the minute I met Greg, I felt as if I had known him for years. He is an amazingly charismatic person and very easy to like. Not at all the !@#$%$# that Jorge and Matt had described to us. He even lowered himself to engage me in a game of 5-minute chess, which, of course, I was obliged to loose… league rule 1406.7… “no person associated with any team shall upstage the commissioner”.

But, for all his friendliness, Greg definitely has an air of authority about him. For example, he immediately claimed Chris Bird’s spot in the back of the room as his own and began setting up his PC. Well, Chris was furious and objected to being relegated to the back room. Whereupon, Greg threatened to forfeit our third board, Marc Esserman, if Chris insisted on yapping further… league rule, 1309.6… “the commissioner may forfeit anyone, anytime he wants, for any reason.”

With that resolved, Greg… or the “Commish”, as he likes to be called (actually, he asked us to call him Sir.)… settled in to monitor league games and observe what was to be a closely contested match between the Boston Blitz and the Baltimore Kingfishers. Then came the Commish’s next demand… “I need food! I’m starving!”… no problem Sir… pizza was on order… league rule, 1735.6… “If the commissioner visits a league site, his favorite food must be provided by that site’s host.”

Mercifully, the match started… and a furious machine-gun tapping could be heard from the Commish’s corner of the room. Who knew the Commish had taken a speed typing course… would it disturb the players?… not at all, in fact, it turned out to be Boston’s secret weapon in this very close match.

The first to take advantage of this secret weapon was fourth board and noise sensitive NM Ilay Krasik…
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Pizza… Smells Like Victory!

September 27th, 2009

Mark La Rocca

Ahhh! What a night. The weather was calm and cool… there was a hint of pizza in the air… and our team revealed themselves as the true geniuses that we all knew they were. Yes, Boston was back as they opened a “Can of Whupass” and spread it all over the Philadelpia Inventors. (Oh come on, after our last match, we deserve to brag.) Sure, inventors are smart, but they’re no match for real genius. Each game a work of art… it was a truly spiritual experience…

Or, was it something else… something more tangible that aided Boston on this night. Baseball players know that steroids can perform miracles… and chess players know the magic of a special sort of nectar of the Gods…

I love the smell of Pizza in the evening… smells like victory. Heck, if only we knew this last week.

Our 3rd board, and Einstein of the night, Marc Esserman, suggested the special supplement, then took one bite and unveiled a torrential attack in his favorite Morra Gambit…

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The Legends of the West

September 21st, 2009

Mark La Rocca

Well, it’s time to bite the bullet, so to speak. The match was billed as a sort of showdown at the O.K. Corral and… I guess it kinda turned out that way… The Earp brothers showed up and mercilessly gunned down the people’s favorite Clanton’s. Too bad Boston was on the wrong end of the barrel this time. Come to think of it, weren’t the Clantons and McLaurys braggen on how they was gonna put an end to those Yankees. Hmmm… but that would mean the Earps were from the north, and the Clantons from the south and… I think we got it backwards somehow.

As it turned out, the Dallas Mavericks rode into to town… guns a blazin’… and shot the sheriff and his buddies before they could even pick up a weapon. At least, the aforementioned gunfight left the Earps wounded. Strangely, Boston’s proven championship caliber team went down with a thud in a battle that is the stuff of which legends are made.

Now, hand me that there shovel… I gotsta bury me some bodies… the first being everyone’s favorite 4th board. Deputy Ilya Krasik…

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